


In the Men's Room on the Third Floor

by Dee_Laundry



Category: House M.D.
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-04-11
Updated: 2008-04-11
Packaged: 2017-10-15 15:35:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 513
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/162296
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dee_Laundry/pseuds/Dee_Laundry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"House draws Wilson a goofy picture, like during lunch or a boring meeting or something, and Wilson loves it beyond reason."</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Men's Room on the Third Floor

**Author's Note:**

> Written from a prompt by [](http://jane-hidell.livejournal.com/profile)[**jane_hidell**](http://jane-hidell.livejournal.com/) at [](http://community.livejournal.com/housewilsonlol/profile)[**housewilsonlol**](http://community.livejournal.com/housewilsonlol/). After reading the ficlet, Jane drew the picture [here](http://community.livejournal.com/housewilsonlol/38668.html?thread=718092#t718092).

There’s a picture in the men’s room on the third floor. No, not that men’s room, the other one. By the nurses’ changing room. No, the pediatric nurses’ changing room. No, I don’t mean _pediatric_ nurses, you dingbat, nurses who work in Pediatrics. Yeah, that one.

There is a picture in that men’s room, on the tile above the third urinal to the right. Yes, the right as you’re facing them; what other kind of right would there be? Do you even know how to use a urinal? Or do you still sit down to make wee-wee? Now shut up, or you’ll never hear about this picture.

Shut up; yes, you do.

There is a picture on the tile above the third urinal to the right, and don’t ask me to explain why there’s tile up that high because I don’t know. Yao Min must’ve pissed in there and backsplashed once or something. Anyway. The picture is of a… thing. Oh, _thing_ , ha ha, I take it back, obviously you don’t bother sitting down to wee-wee because you’re still making it in your _diaper_. Shut up.

The picture is of an animal thing. Well, I’d be more specific if I could, but I can’t. It’s a thing with four legs and weird sticking-up ears and a shaky, spiky outline that clearly indicates it’s supposed to have fur. The eyes on it are weird – no, not spider eyes or anything. There’s only two of them but whoever drew it didn’t do a good job because they seem to be looking in different directions.

The animal thing in the picture also has, and this is bizarre, gigantic eyebrows. They take up almost all the area between the top of the thing’s head and the weird-looking eyes. It’s bizarre. What animal has eyebrows? I can’t think of any. Well, cats, yeah, but they don’t have _bushy_ eyebrows like this.

The other thing about the animal thing is its, to use your word, thing. Gigantic. Like dragging-on-the-ground gigantic. No, it’s not the tail. The thing has a little tail sticking up in the air, and its thing – all right, that’s a stupid word: its _schlong_ is right there between its back legs. It’s obvious. No, not even a stiffy. Just a regular old everyday walking around dick, and it’s freakin’ huge.

No, it’s not an elephant! I would’ve mentioned a trunk if the thing had one, wouldn’t I? I’m not a moron. I got my doubts about you, though.

And it’s not a horse, either, or a rhino, or a whale. A whale? It has _fur_ , I told you. You’re just naming animals you think have huge pricks, aren’t you? Dweeb. I told you before, I don’t know what kind of animal it is.

You could ask Dr. Wilson, though. He seems to use that restroom all the time – must be dating one of the nurses – and he stares at it whenever he’s in there. Seems to find it amusing. Me, I more think it’s creepy, but maybe it reminds him of some comic book or something.


End file.
